How your personality is defined by trauma

All of us come to the present moment with trauma. I often forget to stop and consider the traumatic experiences that the person I’m talking to has built their identity and worldview around.

Maybe you’re the funny person, using your wit to diffuse the intensity of what you feel.

Maybe you’re the person with all the answers, always ready with a book reference or philosophical insight with attribution to assert the solidity of your comprehension.

Maybe you’re the justice seeker, always looking to correct the power dynamic because of how often you or those you love have been controlled and disenfranchised.

Maybe you’re the bully, meeting the world with a good offense, because you’re afraid of of being hurt yourself.

Maybe you’re the lone wolf, certain of your unique vision and uncompromising in your methods, to prevent taking a risk on connection.

Maybe you’re dutifully by-the-book person, following the letter and the spirit of the law so that you fade in to the middle of the line and don’t get called first or last.

Our best qualities are sometimes the armor we use to protect ourselves from being hurt. We develop skills to prevent repeats of the various traumas we experience as we grow up. The building blocks of our constructed identities often serve us well but also limit us. We start to see ourselves as our suit of armor and not the person underneath we built that armor to protect.

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