“Choosing yourself” means choosing other people’s rejection of you.
Attempts to sway another person’s point of view on yourself because you fear their rejection, often comes with a dose of self-rejection. You attempt (or consider) modifying your behavior or appearance to gain approval or inclusion. Sometimes such changes are a healthy aspect of our growth or dynamic movement through life and of course that’s fine. However, at other times, the ways we modify our behavior in response to our perceptions (or misconceptions) about what others require of us can take the form of hidden self-rejection in the form of shame, lowered self esteem, confusion, or anxiety about future rejection. This is a powerful insight:
Choosing yourself means choosing other people’s rejection of you.
This is true for relationships, friends, work, customers, the public, whatever. What a trap we can set for ourselves by rejecting who we are in the hopes of being accepted! We must be able to embrace the potential rejection of others if we are to be able to step into the power of honoring our own creative impulse and voice. If we cannot accept rejection, we remain enslaved by our own need for approval. This is panopticon (The Matrix) of our own vanity. It’s as though we live in a totalitarian state created entirely by our own fear of rejection.
If someone rejects you when you are being true to yourself, stay curious, don’t take it personally, use it as data, and above all: be proud of yourself for having the rare courage to simply be yourself.